Friday, April 12

Become a Zombie-Killing Macgyver: From Neighborhoods to Traffic Zones

Photo by Bob Jagendorf

During a zombie apocalypse, you'll not have time to prepare materials. You'll not have space to sit down and brainstorm a survival game plan. In a zombie apocalypse, you only have each passing moment and the opportunity given to you in order to survive. You must use your creativity, intuition, and improvisation to defend yourself against these walking creatures of the night. You're the zombie killing-MacGyver from Earth! Here are various scenarios along with makeshift zombie weapons you can use to distract, slow down or destroy those nasty zombie dudes in the blink of an eye!

On the City Streets

Around construction zones, you may notice security barrier poles to disrupt traffic. If you come across a set of these bad boys on the street, you can use the poles as your bread and butter of zombie protection. If they're installed in the right spots, you can use them to stand behind and trick them as they try to approach you. One after another. “CRACK!” as their deteriorating skulls crumble into black zombie goo. Bet you never thought construction materials would help fend creatures of the night, eh?

Outside of Your Home

If zombies approach you near your home, don't fear. There's a multitude of makeshift ways to fight them. First, look for anything out of the ordinary that could make an easy weapon. A garden hose with the water turned on full-blast will show these dead creeps that you mean business as you can quickly spray them in the eyes to mask their view. If a hose isn't in clear view, see if there are any large rocks in the vicinity. Stone throwing may be one of the most basic, primal forms of defense, but it can surely do some damage. Last but not least, lead them toward your home, and use your front door to whack them away as they approach. Let them know that zombies are simply not welcome!

In the Subway

If you're thinking of taking heed down below in the subways, just be aware that, during a zombie apocalypse, the subway system will be roaming with zombies! This doesn't mean, however, that you have no chance for survival in the subway. For non-obvious makeshift subway weapons, look for any leaflets, travel brochures or subway guides, and use their sharp edges to give paper cuts to any zombies you see. Paper cuts on their eyes and mouth will distract them the most, and buy time to escape. Another subway weapon is to use trash cans to hit the zombies over the head with. You can also cover their heads with it so they can't see where they're going. Opportunities for creative weapons in the subway is endless — just use your imagination!

Other environments such as the inside of stores will usually contain a wide variety of materials that can hurt zombies. From motorcycle parts to jugs of orange juice, finding something to throw isn't a challenge. The main thing is to be fast on your feet and keep your eyes open like you've never kept them open before. Every second counts! If 50 zombies enter a convenient store, they could easily take you down in a matter of seconds. Avoid having it get to that point by finding crafty ways to distract, confuse and kick zombie butt!

1 comment:

YeamieWaffles said...

Great post man, being a zombie killer honestly would be an amazing job and it's a good premise that I think might not be fully tapped into yet, love this guide.