Thursday, June 21

Cure Sells, But Who's Buying?

I feel kinda dumb for never having touched on this subject before. It's so damn simple and right under our noses, but as far as I'm concerned nobody has even thought about it.

Let me set the stage for you here. The zombie apocalypse has been going on for a while. People eating people held up in shopping malls with Ving Rhames, you know the whole deal. When suddenly thanks to the miracle of science the cure has come out with the ability to turn walkers back to their normal selves again. Yay! But there in itself lies the problem...

By this point in the apocalypse anyone turned into a zombie would have already suffered massive body decay and may even be missing a limb or two or three or all of them. Their faces half falling off, internal organs cascading out of their tummies, not quite a pretty picture right?

I don't wanna come back looking like that!
Then who in their right mind would want to bring zombies back to life when they are walking around looking like they just lost a fight with a chainsaw? Imagine you were bit by a zombie, you turn into one and your memory goes blank. Then all of a sudden you are brought back to life, take one look in the mirror and you look like old lunch meat? No thanks Tom Hanks! Not to mention you would most likely regain feeling in your nerves again sending you into extreme amounts of pain from all the gaping wounds and decaying parts of you. Plus imagine you did come back to life and want to look normal again, think about how much money you would have to pay in reconstructive surgery and skin graphs and the like. Plus good luck finding a plastic surgeon who's still alive.

All I'm saying is that maybe when the time comes we should be researching immunity to the zombie virus rather than the cure itself. The only real cure to the Z Plague is a well placed shot to the head.

Pew!


5 comments:

A Beer for the Shower said...

I always thought about this too, but it's not just the outside, it's also the inside that's beyond repair. How do you reverse the effects of rotting internals? I just don't think it's medically possible. Prevention, though. That's a damn good idea.

The Angry Lurker said...

I'm sorry but they're getting nothing, it's just for us good looking people!

MRanthrope said...

bonus points for the Megadeth reference in the post title sir =p

James said...

Huh. Cant' say I've thought of it that way. Yeah, an immunity would be better than a cure. If I was revived half rotted away I'd rather be a zombie.

D4 said...

Immunity, yes. Because otherwise you can't give em a quick shot to the head or something. It'd be pretty bad.